I want to talk about the age-old concern about getting cut from a team. I want you to consider this potentially life-changing event from the vantage point of the coach, from that of the athlete, and from the perspective of the parent as well.
As long as there has been competitive sports and teams, the truth is, there are usually too many kids who want to be on the team. And as a result, the coaching staff has to make cuts. This could be at varsity, JV, freshman, modified, or travel team.
This process is not easy for anyone. Every coach will tell you that cutting players is the hardest part of their job.
But yet, invariably it has to be done. And coaches, whether you like it or not, you need to step up and own the cut process. That is, you can’t just tell everyone how hard it is and then put yourself in a position where you are detached from it. You need to communicate, and communicate with a great deal of sensitivity and compassion.
This is why I used the phrase “potentially life-changing” because depending on how the youngster reacts to being let go, being cut from a team can have a seminal impact on a kid’s life. Indeed, several of the callers this morning on my radio show said how they remembered how cruel it was back when they were in HS to see that the coach just listed the final roster on a wall. He used player’s ID numbers instead of their names, but there was no appeal, no chance to reach out to the coach to see whether a kid had come close to making the team, or whether he or she should try out again next year.
As one caller said, “I recall going home and telling my Dad I had been cut, and my Dad asked why….and I had no answer for him.” This kind of no-explanation cut just leaves a deep hole within the individual with no closure. This is why the caller said that as a HS coach himself these days, whenever he makes cuts, he makes it a point to explain to each kid and explain why he didn’t make the team. Yes, this takes a great deal of time, but to the coach, it’s the way the job needs to be done.
I happen to agree with him.
HOW CRUEL CAN YOU BE?
Another caller was incensed that his 9-year-old had been told by his travel team coach that those kids who had the team will receive an email. Those who don’t receive an email should just assume they didn’t make the team.
How cruel is that? Making kids wait for an email that is not going to arrive? Coaches, have the guts to do the right thing and talk with the kids who get cut.
Another caller -this one from Philadelphia – was quite proud of his extensive youth basketball program – which has thousands of kids in it. But when I probed about tryouts and cuts, he admitted that only the final rosters were posted on the league website. That is, if you didn’t see your name, you were cut. I asked him, “Nobody gets an explanation? Why not at least put up a phone number where if a kid or a parent wants to call and find out why they didn’t make the team, they can find out why.”
He agreed that was a good idea. I sure hope he implements it.
My point is this…it falls upon the coach – the so-called grown-up – to do the right thing with kids who have dreams of making the team. Getting cut from a team in sports – especially when you’re in HS- is one of the most painful and frustrating experiences that anyone can go through.
It’s also very hard for one’s parents, friends, and yes, even the coach.
For most of us who play sports seriously, you can vividly recall the real and visceral hurt and disappointment when you didn’t make the team….even if it took place 10 – 20- 30 years or longer, you can still remember the sting.
Think about it. If your youngster loves basketball, and he’s been working his tail off to try and make the varsity team…..only to find out he’s not going to be one of the selected few….that can often force the youngster to make a critically important decision in his young life. Specifically:
Am I just going to redouble my efforts with hoops, and work even harder to make the team next year? Or does the kid say to himself, “Y’now what…I gave this my best shot, and I wasn’t good enough. Time to look for – and to pursue — some other passion in life.”
That’s a tough moment for any kid to be sure. Some kids decide to keep working hard and keep chasing their dream. Many others pack it in.
How does one know? And wow does a parent handle this?
DO THE RIGHT THING
This is very delicate territory. And every youngster responds differently. But it all starts with the coach, and what he or she has to say to the kid.
But if the coach doesn’t even a word, or give any kind of feedback, don’t expect any kid to want to come back and try to make the team next year. My point? Coach, making cuts is tough – we all know that – but do the right thing and take the time to talk with each kid and explain why.