Repaying Favorite Coaches and Teachers Years Later
By Doug Abrams
My most recent column explained the enduring player-coach bond. “Behind only the parent-child and child-sibling bonds, the teacher-student bond can be one of life’s most lasting. Coaches are teachers, and players are their students. . . . If a coach treats the team right, coach and players frequently maintain lifelong friendships based on shared experiences and mutual respect.”
From some of my former players and from other readers, that column generated more reactions than any other I have written. Spurred by these reactions, I expand below on what the lifelong bond can mean for players and their coaches, and indeed for students and their classroom teachers.
I focus on one gesture that can enrich relationships. The gesture involves the telephone, and it enables today’s parents to repay their own favorite coaches and teachers for their influence years and even decades ago.
The Need for Reassurance
For the past several years, I have made regular telephone calls to a few of my favorite teachers and favorite coaches. These calls might come a few times a week, or they might come weekly or bi-weekly. The calls usually last a few minutes. Some of my former coaches and teachers are in their sixties, seventies, or even eighties.
The telephone provides welcome opportunities to repay favorite coaches and teachers. I remain a grateful debtor, eager to share memories with men and women whose service years ago helped make the memories possible.
Phone calls may seem like minor gestures, but the calls are not minor to yesterday’s coaches and teachers who need reassurance that their past efforts made a difference. The voice at the other end always closes the conversation with a request to call again soon.
Completing the Circle
These phone calls are reminders that coaching and classroom teaching done right should not be taken for granted. Inspired coaching and teaching reflect the “something extra” that marks accomplishment in any field. Inspiration – going the extra mile for players or students – deserves respect because it does not happen by accident.
Speaking as an educator and as a former youth hockey coach for several years, I remain thankful for my own upbringing. In addition to solid parental influence, I never had a bad teacher from kindergarten through law school. Nor did I ever have a bad coach in any sport. Many adults today cannot look back at such good fortune, and I don’t take my good fortune lightly.
As today’s parents and coaches raise their own families, phone calls to favorite former coaches and teachers help complete an important circle. In childhood and adolescence, players and students need their coaches and teachers. Years later, coaches and teachers need their former players and former students. According to the proverb, what goes around, comes around.